Fingertips Forgotten

Double Standard
When I ask for time,
I get “No.”
When she asks,
All the time she’ll ever need is put before her.

When I plead for help,
I get “No.”
When she pleads,
She gets.

When I cry my soul out
No ears are there for me.
When she cries,
Arms open wide to carry her through.

When I do nothing
Yells erupt.
When she yells,
Silence screams back.

I fall.

When I get bitchy,
My ass is grounded before I breath another breath.
When she gets bitchy,
I cower.

In her eyes
I’m a bitch.
    Selfish
        Drama queen.

But no is the answer.
I’m not.
I just want ears to listen
To my pleads
My cries
My salt soaked cheeks.

I just need an arm
A hand
A finger.
Anything.
Just something to hold me up.

I’m falling.
And no one see’s.

They’re all tending to her.
She matters.
She gets.
She looks at me

Hatred screaming
    In her eyes.
“I love you.”
    No you don’t.

You use me.
You pretend.

I’m sick of all this shit.
I want to wake up.
I’m tired of this dream.
Change the channel.

I want to go home.

Bring me home.
Please.

I’m lost.
I am hurt
Frightened.

Pulling on my shirt
Fingertips forgotten.
A cloud over my eyes.

I’ve fallen.
And no one is there to see.
They’re all tending to her.
The queen.
The “one.”
The one that caused this turmoil
Inside a young heart.
A tiny soul.

I’ve fallen.
But you don’t see.

I’m gone.
But it doesn’t matter.

All you care about,
Is the double standard.

The one that made me fall.